Invite wording, No children

Invite wording, No children

Question:

Hi ladies,

Just wondering how I can word it on the second page of the invite to make it absolutely clear that no children are welcome?

We have spoken to most of our friends directly and they are ok with it, but there are some others that have kids like cousins and stuff that we havent really had a chance to.

The other thing is that we have a one year old, and he of course will be coming. Do you think we need to address this or is it so obvious that as its our wedding its ok that we have our son there?

We are also having a ceremony on the sand, so I was going to say something like,"As the ceremony is on sand, we encourage you to kick of yours shoes and join us by the waves. Ushers will be available to secure shoes for you" or something like that?

Thanks for the advice and help

Lean says:

With regards to informing guests of the no children arrangement, it's very poor etiquette to actually write something like this on the invitation itself. The proper way is to only include the names of those actually invited on the invitation, and if any of your guests aren't sure, or return an RSVP with their kids names on it, then you need to speak to them personally about it.

As for the sand ceremony, you could either include information about this on a separate card with the invitation, or through word of mouth.

Betty says:

I personally dont think its too bad to include it on the invite or maybe on an insert card for just the people with kids - that way no one is embarassed and there are no misunderstandings. Speaking from experience with my sis wedding people will write their childs name on the RSVP or call you to beg they can come if you do not state it somewhere. Their reasoning will be 'maybe they forgot to write their names' or something like that and it may get really awkward when they call you up.

I cant tell you exactly how to word it, but i can tell you how not to word it: we received an invite recently that stated at the bottom "no children under 12" and that was it Its almost as if they were trying to be offensive!

And re your son - of course he can be there, after all your babysitter options will probably all be there anyhow!

Noah says:

I remember someone somewhere had a little extra card that had a fun poem on it, pretty much saying 'look we know parents dont get to go out very often so our wedding is your opportunity to let your hair down and relax'.

I agree it can be a little harsh, but some people say the same thing about putting wishing well or wedding registry info in an invite aswell...

Here is something I found while googling

Step 1

Write the events at the wedding that will not be children friendly before writing out the no children policy. For example, you can write, "Because alcohol will be served and the wedding reception will run late into the night..." This will demonstrate that you are thinking about the best interest of the children and the enjoyment of your adult guests.

Step 2

Write that the equipment and furniture at the wedding are expensive and that you will not be responsible for anything the children may damage.

Step 3

Check with the reception site to see if they offer day care services for children. If you are willing to have this as an option, your guests can bring their children but not let them be a part of the reception. You can write this information in the invitation if you find this as an acceptable alternative.

Step 4

Make it explicitly clear that this is an adult-only wedding at some point in the invitation. If you are too passive in your message then you run the risk of guests bringing their children because they did not understand the invitation.

Step 5

Never write "children are excluded." This is too negative of a statement. A better way to write this is to say, "this is an adult event."

Tips & Warnings

• Your best option when you are writing an invitation that excludes children is to be as short as possible. It is almost guaranteed that your family members with children will contact you to either verify or complain about the rule. At this point, you can enumerate all the reasons for not allowing children, such as adult language being used, uncensored lyrics in the music, expensive dinners and alcohol being served.
• Be polite at all times. You want your family members to know that excluding children has nothing to do with not wanting them there (even though this may be true), but for safety reasons and for increasing the overall enjoyment of the adults that will be there.
• This is not a guarantee that your family members will not be frustrated or angry with you if you exclude children from your wedding. If you exclude children, you will more than likely make one or more of your relatives angry.
• If you are not polite about this circumstance, the plan will be more likely to fail.